Home sweet home

Now that I've had a couple of days at home with a nice large shower and a loving boyfriend to welcome me back I have had the space I've needed to digest my Parisian adventure. After being inundated with the "how was your trip" inquiry, I have a canned "it was awesome" answer. In truth, the reply is more complicated. It was awesome. And frustrating and lonely and empowering and eye-opening.

It was frustrating because I was not prepared for the trip. I was told by many people my lack of French would not be a problem. It was. I don't know if it's because I didn't extend the courtesy of learning their language, but it seemed that many in the service industry knew enough to let me ask my questions in English only to brow-beat me into shame by refusing to conversate back in English, only in French. I deserve it though, and know that if they were to come to the U.S. and only speak French they would most likely have the same treatment.

It was lonely because I couldn't speak to anyone. And because I walked around in a near permanent daze, I wouldn't have been much fun anyway. But it was odd to not run into any other Americans, outside the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower (and to be honest, I ignored those people anyway. I guess I'm a snob.). A hostel might've been the smarter way to go...

It was empowering because what little French I know was able to let me order food, find restrooms, and navigate the fabulous transportation system. I was able to defend myself against swarmy men. I was able to familiarize myself enough to not need a map most of the time. I was able to muster up the confidence to travel down unknown paths to find more interesting places to spend time. All while on my own.

It was eye-opening because it was the first time in my life I felt like a foreigner. I had people look down at me. I had people scoff when I told them I was American. I now know what it's like to experience a range of emotions and not have anyone to share that with. And most of all I can now testify to the wonderment within France's borders and can stand back from the experience and feel lucky and priveledged and humbled. And that was what I went for: an adventure. And my god, did I have one.